I was really nervous the first time I saw her; I don’t want to take medication anymore. I don’t want to have these struggles or problems. I almost cancelled. The only reason I didn’t is because govt. agent lady knew I was going to see her and wanted her note.
The appt was interesting in that I didn’t have to talk freely. She asked me intake questions. I felt really comfortable with this approach. My goal was to be honest about myself and still get a “good” evaluation; one that could be helpful to me.
I was really happy that we dropped three of my medications, but she hit me with that antipsychotic talk. I made multiple attempts at redirecting, explaining, and refusing and somehow left with a prescription.
Overall. I liked her, and I thought it went fine, but when she posted her note, it said I was experiencing a mixed episode without insight. My therapist agreed. Nothing screams , “You’re crazy” louder than this!
That means I don’t know when I’m not well, which I figured out 7 days later.
This tells me I shouldn’t be practicing. It’s a tough place to be. I have to think about my next steps.
I see my NP this week and I will talk to her. I will ask my therapist on Tuesday.
